MY LAST THANKSGIVING WITH PAT BOND
PAT BOND |
Thanksgiving was always the big holiday in my family. I think it was partly because as Jews, it was
the one major holiday we could share with the rest of the country. Sure, there’s Fourth of July. But folks don’t fly home to be with their
families for that.
No, Thanksgiving was IT.
And it was always at our house.
My mother owned Thanksgiving. She only missed hosting (until she became really old and
wheelchair-bound) the year I was born on Nov. 27. Thanksgiving is the one holiday that marks time for me: "Oh yeah, that was the year I had it with Dory in Pennsylvania..." or "That year was in Modesto with my Auntie Hannah and cousin Miriam..."
Although I loved my mother's celebrations, my most memorable
Thanksgivings have been away from home.
In 1990, Pat Bond, whose writing is featured in HICK: A LOVE STORY, was slowly dying of lung cancer.
Of course I wanted to spend Thanksgiving with her in the hospital. She was always good company – especially
after the doctor put her on anti-depressants.
Very helpful when you’ve got lung cancer.
She shared a room with Ida, an African-American woman who
was in a coma. I can’t say I was really
looking FORWARD to this Thanksgiving, mainly because of Ida. I’m not even comfortable around quiet SHY
people – let alone comatose. I WASN’T
worried about the food. My hospital
Thanksgivings have never been deficient in the food department. But the company this time – iffy.
ANHYHOW, Pat and I were quietly talking, waiting for the
food to arrive, when a whole CLAN burst into the room! Adults and children, about 15 of them, laden
with food! This was Ida’s family, who
we’d never met before. She was the
ruling matriarch, and there was no question where they would spend this holiday. It had to be with her in the
hospital, even if she didn't even know they were there.
The whole family drew Pat and
me to its collective bosom. We were in
need of family, and they were happy to supply it – along with Thanksgiving
dinner. Pat and I spent that day laughing and eating
the delicious food Ida’s kids and grandkids had cooked. We heard stories about this fearsome Granny Ida who ruled with an iron hand when she
was well. Maybe her family was
particularly jolly because Ida was no longer cracking the whip.
So: Just because
someone’s in a coma doesn’t mean she can’t throw a great party. It remains one of my favorite Thanksgivings.
Pat as Hick
Me as Hick |