TAKE HEART

DEAR FRIENDS: Rick Hanson sends out a weekly email "Just One Thing" that I subscribe to.  He's a Buddhist and psychologist and I've often found his  advice/musings very helpful.  He's never before written about dealing with a event in the world.   I find his words beginning "Guard and guide your attention" particularly useful to me.  I'll be just toddling along in my life feeling pretty decent and then get gobsmacked by some radio, newspaper or internet info about what the Trump Presidency will mean, and I go spiraling down.   My friend Mary told me her housemate Evelyn's response to this moment has been:   Add volunteering for Planned Parenthood to her already full life -- and take a break from the alarming news and opinions flooding the media. I don't intend to go as far as Evelyn.  But it's good to be reminded that I have the right to guard and guide my attention rather than being open to everything that comes my way. I also love that he tells us to explore those scary feelings when they arise.  He would never say "Don't panic," as I did.  He asks you to acknowledge every feeling, explore it.  I know that when I do that, the feeling loses its power. I'm not a big forwarder of emails, but I want to share this with you. Terry

Take Heart Rick Hanson, Ph.D. November 9, 2016 What do you do when the bottom falls out? The Practice: Take heart. Why It takes heart to live in even ordinary times. By "taking heart," I mean several related things: Sensing your heart and chest  Finding encouragement in what is good both around you and inside you  Resting in your own warmth, compassion, and kindness; resting in the caring for you from others; love flowing in and love flowing out  Being courageous, whole-hearted and strong-hearted - going forward wisely even when anxious, knowing your own truth and as you can speaking it When you take heart, you're more able to deal with challenges like aging, illness, trauma, or conflicts with others. You're also more able to take advantage of opportunities with confidence and grit. Additionally, it takes heart to live in, live with, and live beyond times that are really hard. Your personal hard time might be bad news about your health, the death of a parent, or betrayal by others. Or it could be related to changes in your country and world, and your concerns about their effects on others and yourself; I've written about the importance of finding and facing facts at the level of society (feel free to skip it if you don't want my take on politics). There are so many examples of honorable people facing great difficulty with dignity, principle, and courage. They did it. We can, too. How Start by riding out the storm. When big things happen at any scale - in your child's schoolyard or in a refugee camp on the other side of the world - it is completely natural and normal to be shocked and disturbed by them. As best you can, stay with the raw experience, the body sensations, the deep feelings, the stirred up fears and anger and perhaps paralysis. Whatever it is, it is your experience; some may be upset about a big event while others may be glad about it; I am definitely not trying to talk you out of your experience. Be mindful of whatever is passing through the big open space of awareness, observing it without being flooded by it. Painful and counter-intuitive as it may be, this is the foundation of releasing really hard experiences and replacing them gradually and authentically with thoughts and feelings that are helpful, wholesome, wise, and even happy. Do things that help you come back to center and find your footing. Personally, I prioritize exercise, sleep, and meditation; I try to feel the truth of being basically alright right now, in this moment, moment after moment (alongside and deeper than pain or sorrow); I do the dishes and make the bed. Walk the dog, call a friend, eat something, look at trees and sky, get a cup of tea and stare into space. Take good care of your body. Guard and guide your attention. It's one thing to find facts and form the best plans you can. It's another thing to get distracted or upset by news or other people that do not add any useful value. Take heart in the good that is real. Outside you, there is the kindness in others, the beauty of a single leaf, the stars that still shine no matter what hides them. Right now as you read, all over the world children are laughing in delight, families are sitting down to a meal, babies are being born, and loving arms are holding people who are dying. Inside you, there is your compassion, sincere efforts, sweet memories, capabilities - and much more. Take heart with others, sharing worries, support, and friendship. Do the things you can. The more that events are turbulent, alarming, and beyond your influence, the more important it is to grow stability, safety, and agency inside you and around you. Have courage. At all human scales, strong forces have always tried to confuse and frighten others. Whatever outward action is necessary, you can preserve an inner freedom, never cowed or bowed in your core. Last, I've found it really helps to have perspective. Without minimizing one bit of whatever is awful, it is also true that humans like you and I have been walking this earth for nearly 200,000 years. I see the trees, the land, the ocean - all of it here before me and lasting long after me. Empires rise and fall. Sometimes the center does not hold - in a body, marriage, or nation - and still. And still people love each other, go out of their way for a stranger, and marvel at a rainbow. Nothing, nothing at all can change this. We keep putting one foot in front of the other one, lifting each other up along the way. This comes from Rick Hanson, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, New York Times best-selling author, and invited speaker at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard universities. See Rick's workshops and lectures.