This is a very IMPORTANT video. i've only watched it once, but I know I will go back to it several times. Jason Stanley is interviewed on MSNBC about his book, HOW FASCISM WORKS. I've ordered the book (you can too, click here), but it's possible this video might be even more useful than the book because the interviewer plays very dumb and asks simple and even stupid questions, which allows Stanley to explain things VERY CLEARLY.
I wish I'd read this a lot earlier. When someone I love was going through a hard time a couple of years ago, I jumped all over her, trying to "fix" her. I was awful. Finally, I asked her for the umpteenth time how she was doing, and she replied, "Actually, the worst thing happening in my life is YOU."
ANYHOW, I do think it's important for us to check in on our friends, especially those who are single, to see how things are going for them. I check in on a few people myself. And I was absolutely delighted when my friend Revital checked in on ME.
Also, the article suggests sending actual snail mail to people you're thinking about. Being a postcard lover myself, I can't recommend that highly enough. In fact, my friend Joan Straumanis, who is homebound recovering from surgery, sent out a general email to thank everyone for their support and SPECIFICALLY named the two people who sent her postcards -- one of which was me. I felt very puffed up about that, I can assure you.
Joan is a good role model for me. She was in the hospital, then in rehab and then she was home. She was very clear about what she needed and DIDN'T need from her friends. She said she did NOT want to be asked how she was feeling or give updates on her medical status. She wanted to hear from other people about THEIR lives.
I find her specificity very refreshing. How often do I actually ask clearly for what I need? Not very. Mostly I expect others to know what to give me because it's so OBVIOUS to me. Or, if I DO ask and then DON'T get what I need in the first or second request --- I give up. I decide to be a fucking martyr and just plunge ahead without the support I long for.
It is clear to me now that, when I phone people to check in on them, I should also ask them to check in on ME once in a while!
Wow. I feel all this shame rising inside me, that I need to actually ASK for what I need.
THANK YOU JOAN, FOR LEADING BY YOUR COURAGEOUS EXAMPLE!
Three: Photos Personal
Here's me with a great big bouquet of new socks that had arrived in the mail! I was so happy. I had found the name of the company on my last remaining pair of thick wool socks. I had searched for the company online, I had ordered two different kinds of thick wool socks. I was somebody who was taking care of business and taking care of herSELF!
Sadly, unlike the original socks, these socks are so tight at the top that they practically caused my feet to atrophy and drop off.
Oh well. There was that moment of great competence, great satisfaction that is captured in this selfie.
In the background is a very large painting that Lieke, my Dutch girlfriend, made for me. When I was living in Holland, she got so tired of my complaining about the lack of sun, that she painted the sun for me. Got my own private sun in my living room.