CLIFF'S IS A VERY SPECIAL PLACE. SO I WAS JUST A TAD DISAPPOINTED TO DISCOVER BLATANT HATRED OF WOMEN ON THE CHECK-OUT COUNTER AT CLIFF'S. AT CLIFF'S? AT CLIFF'S??!?
To celebrate their 80th anniversary, the Cliff's workers formed a marching band and paraded around the neighborhood! I had marched along with them!
Can you imagine how wonderful it is to live up the hill from a fabulous hardware/variety/fabric/garden supply/houseware store that entertains everyone with a marching band on their 80th anniversary? Cliff's isn't just a store. It's a pillar of the gay community. It's part of my identity as a San Franciscan. I felt BETRAYED when I saw "Karens in the Wild" there.
I asked to talk to the manager -- which, according to the Karen Coloring Book, instantly made ME a "Karen." The manager wasn't there.
I have to give the man behind the counter credit: He looked at the book and immediately got why I was upset.
He said, "Oh, I see. Because there's no equivalent word like 'Karen' for MEN."
Me: "That's right!"
BUT the OTHER man behind the counter told me to relax and have a sense of humor. Now, if I was complaining about the racism in a coloring book, would he have dared to say that? Of course not. Everyone understands (at least in San Francisco) that racism is offensive and must be squashed. But sexism? Hey, just relax, lady!
I snuck the book away from the counter to photograph every page, so I could write a blog about it.
Taking those photos so enraged me that ... I THREW THE OFFENDING BOOK WITH ALL MY STRENGTH BEHIND THE COUNTER!
Yes, I did! The man standing there (a different one from the first two) shouted, "That's rude!" I shouted back, "That book is rude!" He shouted again, "No! You're rude!"
I stomped out of Cliff's. I felt GREAT! I was filled with triumph and adrenalin. I have been such a Nice Girl (mostly) for 76 years, I was delighted to be rude! I walked down Castro Street feeling... ...THRILLED to violate decorum! Ecstatic to have been .... Disrespectful! Offensive! Loud! Obnoxious! Yes! I felt righteous outrage! I was a Warrior for Women! Women Warriors throw things!
Or DO they.....
Slowly my euphoria drained away and I realized that in fact it IS rude to throw things, even hateful books. Let me be clear: To throw a book when you're alone in the privacy of your own home is a perfectly fine thing to do. It was the public nature of the book-throwing that was rude.
I no longer felt so triumphant.
Not only that, I go to Cliff's all the time. Once a week, at least. And even with my mask on, I'm very recognizable with my two black Standard Poodles. Would I have to leave Nikki and Loulou home, so I could sneak into Cliff's incognito every time I needed a light bulb? That would be a drag. They enjoyed a visit to Cliff's too! Would I have to take a bus to buy a screwdriver at distant hardware store?
I realized my carefree walkabout lifestyle required Cliff's. I saw my life getting much more complicated. I absolutely had to feel free to patronize Cliff's.
I realized the next time I went to Cliff's, I would have to apologize because it is in fact inappropriate and rude to throw things in a store.
Had I ever thrown anything in a store before? I don't think so. But then, I had never been confronted with a disgustingly misogynist coloring book before!
What is the point of throwing something in front of other people? It is perhaps not quite the right action to take if you want them to seriously consider your point of view.
Oh, but it felt so great... The physical act of doing it... The shouting...
But is it a persuasive thing to do?
Perhaps not.
But IT FELT SO GOOD to express my FRUSTRATION at the astounding resilience of woman-hating!
Come to think of it, I could have made a real SCENE and yelled and TORN THE BOOK UP, and then refused to pay for it, which would have caused them to call the police and I would have been arrested!
Gee, I wish I'd done that. That would have really taken guts. Now THAT would have been APPROPRIATE!
Or I could have said, very calmly, "I know that you probably aren't responsible for this book being here, but I would like you to look at this page and consider how I feel as a woman.... blah blah blah..." That would have also been appropriate.
Anyhow, I did what I did, and I felt I had to apologize for my book-throwing. Can you apologize even if you don't regret what you did? I will always cherish those moments of slipping the Leash of Niceness. But I had to smooth things over for practical reasons. Where else was I going to find a miniature turquoise spatula within walking distance?
So two days later, I went back to Cliff's. First thing I notice: THE "KARENS IN THE WILD" COLORING BOOK WAS GONE!
The "KAREN Coloring Book was not there. That has to be a victory.
I said to the man making the keys, "I came here a few days ago and threw a book behind the counter."
KeyMan: "Oh yes! I heard all about it."
Me: "I'd like to speak to the man who was behind the counter."
Keyman: "Sure. I know who that is. I'll get him."
It was all kinda genial and relaxed, as if people throw things all the time in Cliff's and then come back to apologize. Maybe they do!
A 40-year-old man came up to me, and said, "Did you want to speak to me?" And I said.... what DID I say? Something about apologizing for throwing the book. HE felt I had thrown it AT him. Now this was NOT TRUE! I explicitly DIDN'T throw it at him but just generally behind the counter. I'm too damn Nice to throw it AT him.
But I do see that if you are standing behind a counter, and someone throws a book behind that counter, it is understandable that you might take it personally even if it wasn't really thrown in your direction.He made it extremely clear that he FELT he had experienced a book being thrown at HIM. I did not press this point.
What the hell did I say? It's a complete blank! And I'm always so good at remembering dialog! It's kind of my profession, being a playwright and all that. Truly, I cannot remember one word of what I said in this momentous encounter.
But I certainly remember what HE said: "I guess we both learned something."
So we shook hands, and I left, feeling I had accomplished my mission of apologizing. I was walking home, up the (steep) hill, when it suddenly hit me: He said he had learned something! My "Nice Girl" core might have felt twinges of regret. But being rude had actually accomplished my purpose! It made him, and probably others, look at the book, understand it was about hating women -- and get rid of it!
How about that? This really gives me something to think about. What will I do, the next time I'm filled with rage at injustice? We'll see!
Dear Bloggellinis: You cannot IMAGINE how useful a miniature spatula is! I have no idea how I lived without one. Terry | 
