Sunday, April 10, 2022

Blogmistress, Down

 

Dear Bloggelinis:

Right now I am lying down talking into the Notes app on my iPhone. Then I will make this text into an email, send it to myself, and edit it (sitting). I have never done this before. So a steep learning curve for me. I have always spent many hours fashioning my blogs, with all the links and photos and research. I think I’m going to have to forgo that now because I really cannot sit for very long.

I think this is the longest stretch I’ve ever gone without communicating with you. You see, I’ve got a pinched nerve in my spine that is causing constant pain down my right thigh. It hurts to sit, to stand, to walk. This has been going on for OVER TWO MONTHS! I am experiencing the Western medical system in all its copious inadequacies. My doctor refuses to talk to me about what I'm going through. She just gives me prescriptions for one pain-killer after another. So far, none of them help.

I am looking for a healer. My definition of a healer: Someone who is intensely interested in solving this problem I’m having with my body and who also has the skill and knowledge to actually help me.

I have seen two acupuncturists, two chiropractors and one massage therapist. I might have found my healer, on Monday when I went to the second chiropractor.

So far this chiropractor is the first person who appears to have a strong desire to figure things out. So I am very hopeful. She is not warm and cuddly, as all the other naturopaths were. She's rather cold, brusque. I don't give a damn. I haven’t been able to walk further than the corner mailbox without intense pain. As you all know, rambling around San Francisco with my pups is one of the great joys of my life. But at this point, I'm not longing for long walks. I just want to be free from pain. Alright, I'd settle for a little bit of an ache, which is what I feel in the better moments. But this green pain that moves all around my right thigh and occasionally shoots down my leg... I can't tell you why this pain is colored green, but it is.

I have had an incredibly healthy life up to this point. In fact, when I went to the doctor for my general check-up four months ago, she told me that I was “amazing." You know, being 75 and all and having received some very nice genes from my parents.

Of course I always knew that my amazing health could disappear in an instant. Unfortunately, my primary care doctor doesn’t seem to have foreseen that, and now she considers me a nuisance to be drugged in various fashions until I stop bothering her. It’s hard being left in the dust by a Doctor who I felt really cared about me and cared for me very well over the years. Maybe she can't get over her "amazing" prize patient turning out to be just another fragile old woman.

Oh well. Thank goodness I have a Buddhist practice. Whenever I'm going through a rough patch, I'm always grateful for Buddhism. The Buddhist answer to the question "Why me?" is "Why NOT you?" It's like a glass of cold water thrown in your face to wake you up. You're ALIVE, damn it! Get what you can out of it! You might not come around again. And yet, despite my 16 years of practice, sometimes I feel very sorry for myself.

Fortunately, I have a beautiful garden. Now that it’s hard to walk further than the mailbox, and it’s also uncomfortable to ride in a car (Have you any idea how many potholes and bumps and humps and dents there are in streets in San Francisco streets?), I am cherishing my garden very much.
It’s also wonderful to have people come over and share it with me, especially now that Spring is flinging. So if any Bloggelinis want to drop by for tea, please email me. It's relatively easy to park in my neighborhood.

By the way, just in case this chiropractor doesn’t turn out to have the answer, can you recommend a chiropractor, acupuncturist, massage therapist or orthopedist in San Francisco? 

So, Buddhism and my teacher maintain that there is a way to transform constant pain into a superhighway to enlightenment. She
explained to me the exact kind of attitude I need to have towards my pain, which is curiosity without obsessiveness. I think that’s what she said. Actually I’m not sure what she said. I was in pain when we were talking. Right now I am lying down. But I think what she meant was something like, "Oh, how interesting that the pain is intensifying and causing me to contemplate the advantages of being dead for the first time since I was an awkward adolescent hoping to get hit by a truck!"

Yes, my teacher was talking about THAT rather than "Shit! Fuck! I hate this! It's not fair! Oh, it's getting better.... no, it's not... Why me? Why me? Why me?"

First, I took an old prescription of Naproxyn, a non-steroid anti-inflammatory drug, that I had lying around. Didn't help. I noticed the date on the bottle. It had expired! Of course it didn't work! So the doc prescribed a NEW bottle of the same stuff. Didn't help.

So Doc prescribed an opiate. All the information on the printout was very alarming. I will definitely end up in federal prison if I give you of these pills, so don't even ask. Also, even if I’m very careful and only take the drug as prescribed, I could STILL get addicted! Really?!? That's not fair! But despite my qualms and after everything I read about the terrible opiate crisis that is devastating society, I was perfectly willing to risk addiction if I could go back to living without pain.

But, perhaps fortunately, the opiate didn't help.

Then my doc suggested lots of over-the-counter painkillers. No good.

My fourth painkiller (if you don't count the expired pills) is not for pain but for seizures, and has the possible side effects of suicidal thoughts and blurry vision, among many other enticing possibilities. The pharmacist was EMPHATIC that I must NOT leave my house alone until I find out if the drug causes me to get dizzy and collapse. I am really reluctant to take this drug, partly because it cost $1.87 for like a hundred pills. It's not that I want to go into debt to get out of pain, but I'm suspicious of a drug that Big Pharma is getting rid of with a clearance sale. I haven't taken it yet, but I might start tonight. I promise I won't leave the house.

You know all those books that we’ve all read that were incredibly moving about people who overcame amazing obstacles to do very important things in the world or very astonishing things in the world or very beautiful things in the world?  You  know those people? You know how inspired we all are by those people who overcome really terrible obstacles, and certainly sometimes the obstacle is chronic pain, right?   Many people have chronic pain and they live with it and they somehow keep doing their lives even though they’re in chronic pain. And they are so incredibly inspiring to us, aren't they? We are deeply moved by these people. These people have such depths. They have such wisdom. They have a spirit about them. They can never be trampled. You know these people? Of course you do.

I don't give a flying fuck about wisdom.  I just want to be free of pain.

And now I'll end with a delightful photo of Princess Loulou, taken by the world's sweetest dog-walker, Tony Schwally.

Thursday, March 17, 2022

TWO VISIONS OF CHANGE

 

Ukraine is always in my thoughts. Sometimes it's the foreground and I am imagining the suffering there or reading news and opinion articles or trying to understand what I and others can do. Other times, it's hovering in the background, as I contemplate my own small life.

This week, I was deeply moved by two people's writing.

ONE:
WORDS CLASH AGAINST THE SWORDS OF THE WARMONGERS
by Eric Whittington

Eric is proprietor of Bird & Beckett Books & Records in the Glen Park neighborhood of San Francisco. Bird & Beckett is far more than a bookstore. It is a center for the performance of jazz and poetry several days a week -- both live in the bookshop and live streamed. I urge you to check out the website and sign up for the weekly newsletter. Eric has created a wondrous cultural center, and I have delighted in many B&B performances -- both in person and online.


Eric's words below come from the Bird & Beckett weekly newsletter, which lists all the performances.
 
"We salute the fierce bravery of those taking up arms to push Putin's pawns back, to save their brothers and sisters, their parents and their children from the calculating, delusional madness of an autocrat and his ugly machinery. How many times have we seen this? How many accounts have we read in the historical record? How many times will such a threat raise its head and how many times must it be resisted and defeated? 

How much agony will be inflicted on the citizens of our world in one corner after another, siblings aligning themselves with opposing forces, turning one on another as the mad infect the vulnerable with their fevers?

The essential weapon we wield in the war against the war on the imagination is the imagination itself -- the imagination born of "...a cosmology / a cosmogony / laid out, before all eyes" that precedes our articulation of a just and peaceful world in the face of the propagandistic illusions conjured by the power mad, the avaricious, the greedy, the hateful, their handlers, their facilitators, their minions.

We pity their pawns. Ultimately the pawns will let fall their arms and accept the embrace of their brothers and sisters, their parents and children. But how long must it take? And at what horrible cost?

Though we may be deluded by the propagandists to think that our imagination is not up to the task, the artists never surrender the task of feeding our imagination. Culture is never extinguished; it smolders and roars back to life over and over again. Take heart from it, take nourishment, get exercise and fresh air and be strong. Vote, mobilize, protest. Make your voice heard. Gather in the public square and share your insights and well-grounded convictions. Do what it takes."

Two things in Eric's words especially filled me with energy:
  • His "how many times?" chant. In fact, almost all of recorded history is made up of the kind of brutal Russian invasion we're witnessing today. And the victors, who wrote history, have always been clothed in glory! What was so great about Alexander "the Great"? I bet the people whose families were slaughtered in the course of his great conquests despised and loathed him! And yet he is lauded to this day. Putin probably dreams that future history books will burble in admiration, "Putin the Great restored the Russian empire!" We are trying to change the pattern of history with our united effort to boycott and isolate Russia.
  • Eric's insistence on the importance of of artists as the life blood of culture -- creating our identity and sustaining the struggle. This reminds me of what Churchill famously said in World War II when he met with the Chancellor of the Exchequer (equivalent to Secretary of Treasury in the U.S.). The Chancellor was understandably concerned about where England would find the money to continue to wage war against Hitler. He urged Churchill to slash the budget for the arts, eliminating funding for all culture -- including the theater troupes touring the country, performing Shakespeare's plays. After a long pause, Churchill replied, "Then what are we fighting for?" In other words, what is the POINT of risking our lives and treasure for the survival of England if we are willing to throw out Shakespeare? End of discussion of cutting the arts budget.

(To get a feeling for what theater meant to the English while they were being incessantly bombed by the Germans, I urge you to watch THE DRESSER. There are two versions, 1983 and 2016. The earlier film is one of my all-time favorite movies. Haven't seen the later version. THE DRESSER is about a theater company touring King Lear to small towns during World War II. The focus of the movie is on the relationship between the actor playing Lear (Albert Finney) and his dresser (Tom Courtney). But the war is always present in the background. At one point, the whole theater shakes from a not-so-distant bpmb explosion. But no one leaves their seat. After a brief pause, the actors continue. The play's the thing.)


TWO:
LIST FOR TODAY:
by Molly M. Remer
This poem comes from this year's We'Moon calendar, which contains so many interesting, startling and beautiful poems and images. As they say on their website, "If Mother Earth needed a calendar, she'd use We'Moon."
 
So:

LIST FOR TODAY:

Rescue tadpoles from the
evaporating puddle
in the driveway.
Listen to the crows in the compost pile
And try to identify them
By their different voices
Plant basil and calendula
And a few more
Rows of lettuce.
Check blackberry canes
To see if the berries
Have set.
Wonder about
Action and apathy
And what bridges gaps.
Refuse to surrender belief in joy.
Listen for the faint echoes of hope.
Feel the tender beat of humanity
Pulsing in the world.
Feel the sun on your face.
Remember that even if you
Have to move one tadpole at a time,
Change is always possible.

Thank you, Molly, for your evocation of a world of crows and blackberries and time for contemplation. A world where small actions make a difference. Your words made me cry.

Dear Bloggelinis: I feel a sense of relief and catharsis when I cry. It's feels good. There is so very much to cry about. Often it's music that releases my deep sadness. This time, Molly Remer's gentle vision moved me to tears. Terry

Monday, February 28, 2022

PONDERING UKRAINE

 

My entire adult life I have been protesting against my own country's invasions of other countries -- first Vietnam, which went on for years and then our first invasion of Iraq in 1990 and then Afghanistan in 2001 and Iraq AGAIN in 2003. It was always extremely clear that, whatever the sins of the invaded country, the U.S. was committing a war crime. It was very easy to figure out what to do as an immediate response: Make a sign and show up at a demonstration! You know, like some of the Russian people just did -- except I never needed any courage to do it. In this town, when they arrest protesters, they use pink plastic handcuffs, put you on a parked bus for a couple of hours and then release you. Pink plastic!
We protested so often, my sister Nancy and I made a permanent all-purpose protest sign. (Well, actually it was my idea and Nancy did all the work.) Look at us. We're happy! At that moment, our joy at being with like-minded souls transcended our deep anger. We had accommodated to living in the Belly of the Beast. Our country was evil, but we were good.

I must confess that, now that Russia has invaded the Ukraine, I'm flummoxed. I don't know what action to take against this unprecedented and terrible event. So I was relieved that Medea Benjamin, that great peace activist, was convening activists from many countries on Saturday to speak online on Zoom about the Russian invasion of Ukraine. I announced the event in my last blog.

I thought, "These people will tell me how to understand this terrible situation. They'll tell me what I can do." I guess a lot of people felt like I did, because almost 2,000 people joined the webinar.

I was very disappointed. There were a lot of platitudes about peace. A lot of repetition. Many speakers talked about NATO's actions being the cause of Putin's aggression. The speakers didn't say this EXCUSED Putin's invasion, but it made it understandable. I got the feeling that the speakers, like me, were more comfortable looking at what our side did wrong, even though it's the OTHER side that has committed an act of war.

Speakers kept repeating "War is never the answer" like a mantra. I'm not saying we should send American troops to Ukraine. But what IS the answer? What CAN the U.S. government do? What SHOULD it do? If I know that, then I can contact my elected representatives and urge you to contact yours, I can write letters, spread the word. What actions can my government or I take in response to Putin invading Ukraine?

Speakers on the Saturday webinar also told us that economic sanctions that might hurt ordinary sanctions are not the answer.

It turned out that the answer to the question of what we can do was: We can all go to a protest demonstration next Saturday.

But when I marched in protest of my own country's criminal actions, there was always the possibility that we would affect what our government does. Certainly, during the Vietnam War, as the crowds marching grew and grew, we DID help to end our country's invasion. But marching in protest of the criminal actions of a far-off tyrant? I'm not sure what the point is. Putin doesn't give a damn what the American people think.

And I have to say that I don't agree that "War is never the answer." If you take it to its logical extreme, does that mean the Ukrainians shouldn't take up arms to defend themselves?

I don't see how anyone can maintain that "War is never the answer" after World War II. Britain acted on that principle with Hitler in 1938 by accepting Hitler's annexation of territory on the condition that he went no further. But of course, Hitler had no intention of honoring the Munich Agreement and, when he invaded Poland in September 1939, Britain declared war on Germany. War WAS the answer.

And the idea of the United States entering World War II was extremely unpopular before the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. But if we hadn't entered the war, it is difficult to imagine how Hitler would have been defeated. Again, the U.S. going to war WAS the answer.

Here I pose that basic Buddhist question: what are the APPROPRIATE actions that the U.S. and its allies can take? What is appropriate to this situation? I don't think it's big peace marches in the U.S. But I probably WILL go in hopes of hearing something that enlightens or inspires me.

I'd like to end with a link to a video interview with Rachel Rizzo, a woman with very impressive credentials who answers a lot of questions about what led to this crisis. I felt I had a better understanding of that after I watched the video. This interview was organized by Manny Yekutiel, the owner of Manny's Community Space Manny's, on 16th and Valencia in the Mission, is a community-focused cafe and learning place in the heart of San Francisco. Manny's is unique -- a non-profit cafe, a political bookshop, and a place to gather for civic and political events.

Monday, February 21, 2022

2morrow: 2Sday TWOSday 2/22/22!

 



Received this VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT from Joel Pomerantz, which I am passing to you:

Because frivolity is so replenishing and lately scarce...
Because the world is a mess...
Just BECAUSE...

IT IS TIME TO CELEBRATE
 2sday Twosday, 2/22/22
When you click on this link, you will understand
There will not be another 2/22/22 on 2SDAY
for a gajillion years!!!!!
(SERIOUSLY)

Everyone must wear tutus made from Tulle.
And put on temporary tattoos
if you don't have a permanent one.

On You2be,
Watch radical speeches
by Archbishop Desmond Tutu 
plus
 And one of Tutu and the Dalai Lama having a good time.
Watch the most popular TV sitcom from 1969
(the last major inflection point in American racial politics)

Have brunch at the nearest International House of Pancakes on Tuesday Twosday because they have a 2x2x2 special.

2sday Twosday
is coming to your town
in a matter of hours
whether you like it or not!

DON'T MISS CELEBRATING IT
BECAUSE
YOU WON'T BE AROUND
FOR THE NEXT ONE!
THE EARTH MIGHT NOT BE AROUND
FOR THE NEXT ONE!
All for now, Bloggelinis! Terry

Monday, February 14, 2022

Happy "I Hate Valentines Day" Day

Yes, it's the Tenth Anniversary
of the Crackpot Crones'
"I Hate Valentine's Day" Show!

Let's remember and celebrate the wonderful theater set by Mica Miro, the beautifully funky Dark Room Theater, the sold-out and lively audiences... Admittedly, the actual show wasn't so memorable. I think Carolyn and I tried too hard. The skits were too complicated. BUT -- We had the greatest poster that was ever designed for any theater I've ever done. Ever ever ever. Melissa Walker was my housemate and the Crones' graphic designer, and she outdid herself with this one. I deeply regret that my father, who had a small advertising agency, died before I could tell him I had an "in-house" graphic designer.

And below are two "I Hate Valentine's Day" Day events happening TONIGHT. In fact, there were many anti-Vday events over the weekend. I can only modestly hope that the Crackpot Crones' long-ago effort in some way helped encourage this delightful subversion of a much-hated holiday.

Because in my opinion:

PEOPLE WHO ARE MADLY IN LOVE
OR HAVE A WONDERFUL MARRIAGE/LOVE RELATIONSHIP DO NOT NEED THEIR OWN SPECIAL HOLIDAY!

EVERY DAY OF THEIR LIVES IS A FUCKING HOLIDAY!

FEBRUARY 14 JUST MAKES THE REST OF US FEEL SHITTY!


Here's what you can do to celebrate "I Hate Valentine's Day" Day
So This Sucks: A Night of Heartbreak and Disappointment
From the creators of “About Last Night,” a one-night-stand storytelling series, comes an Anti-Valentine’s Day show with true tales of heartbreak and disappointment from brave storytellers who plan to share their most humorous and horrifying breakup tales. There will be a post-performance heartbreak cocktail hour from 9:30 to 10:30 p.m.
7:30-10:30 p.m. Monday, Feb. 14. $15-$25, vaccination proof, masks and reservations required. Gateway Theater, 215 Jackson St., S.F. 42ndstmoon.org/gateway-theatre

Heart & Dagger’s Anti-Valentine’s Day Bash
Join an Anti-Valentine’s Day party in Oakland featuring anti-love horror movies, music with special cocktails, and no kissing allowed.
8 p.m. Monday, Feb. 14. Free, 21 and older, vaccination proof required. 504 Lake Park Ave., Oakland. 510-444-7300. heartanddaggersaloon.com


Some V-Day sightings in the Castro that I couldn't resist,
despite me phobia:

 

Block That Recall/Vote for David Campos!

 


BLOCK THAT RECALL!

We just had an election to recall the Governor of California in September 2021. That recall failed. (To read my blog on the governor's recall, click here.)

And tomorrow February 15, in San Francisco, we're having ANOTHER ELECTION TO RECALL THREE S.F. SCHOOL BOARD MEMBERS!

A recall is a kind of state or city parallel to impeaching the President. The idea is that an elected official has done something so illegal or outrageous that the we simply cannot wait for the next election to get rid of this despicable human being. An election must be held ASAP! Unlike impeachment, which is decided by the House and Senate, it is the voters rather than legislators who decide whether to kick the bum out.

A recall is supposed to be an extreme solution to an extreme problem. It is not supposed to be used to get rid of someone whose ideas and actions you disagree with. That's what regularly scheduled elections are for.

The supporters of the recall cannot point to any particularly illegal or egregious actions of the three board members they want to toss out. They present a laundry list of grievances -- including the closing of the schools because of the pandemic. This was something that was done by every single school district in the country! The school board's most controversial act was a decision to change the names of 44 schools whose names it said honored figures linked to racism, sexism and other injustices. There was a firestorm of outrage about it in San Francisco, and it was a kooky "Only in San Francisco" news story around the world. All of this outrage CAUSED THE SCHOOL BOARD TO REVERSE ITS DECISION! SO WHY SHOULD THEY BE RECALLED?!?

So why is this recall happening?
There is a general "THROW THE BUMS OUT!" feeling in the air. Is this feeling generated by our terrible frustration at the failure to throw Trump out of office?

Yes, Trump really did commit impeachable acts. He obstructed justice, profited from the Presidency, solicited foreign interference in U.S. elections, advocated political and police violence, abused his power of pardoning. engaged in reckless conduct, persecuted political opponents, violated immigrants' right to due process, and violated campaign finance laws.

Phew. Now, THAT'S someone who should be thrown out of office! Any one of those reasons is enough to justify impeachment. Compare that to the School Board members who:
  • Infuriated parents by closing the schools, which was universally done because of the pandemic
and
  • Wanted to rename 44 schools and changed their minds when many people got upset.

Or perhaps the anger around these recalls is "part of the culture of outrage generated by Fox News and Trump and his supporters," as Peter Gabel, long-time activist, suggests in a letter to the SF Chronicle. Gabel goes on:
"Only if true malfeasance occurs -- such as bribery, sexual harassment or other illegal or immoral conduct -- should we disrupt the normal democratic process in this way. Controversial policy decisions or votes should not be a basis for recall because it undermines the election process and encourages politically motivated wealthy donors to threaten recalls every time something happens that they don't like or that challenges their interests."
In a democracy, we have an established path to throw unpopular politicians out of office. And that path is:
ELECT SOMEONE ELSE!
Impeachment and recall are important safety valves IF the office-holder is guilty of committing crimes or violating their oath of office in some totally reprehensible way.

But used repeatedly and without good cause, recalls can destroy our democracy, because:
If you've got enough money,
you can get a recall on the ballot.
So if recalls become business as usual, it's an easy way for billionaires to gain even MORE control of our government.
Who is funding the School Board recall?
Billionaires like venture capitalist Arthur Rock and the former head of PayPal, David Sacks, among others. These people don't give a damn about public schools. They're funding the recall to enhance their own power! And the billionaires' power WILL be enhanced if the recall is successful, because Mayor Breed appoints the replacements.

Now, I know a lot of people -- not just here but all over the country -- felt all warm and fuzzy when an African-American woman -- who grew up in the San Francisco projects, no less -- was elected mayor. What a feel-good story! Isn't THAT what democracy is about, in its best moments?

Well, actually, no. Democracy's best moments are when the voters look past a candidate's identity to examine whose interests she actually represents. And from the beginning of her political journey, London Breed has, as they say in politics, "carried water" for the billionaires of San Francisco. That's who who brung her to the dance. Everyone in politics in this town knows this.

So the School Board replacements will be beholden to the Mayor and the billionaires -- not the people who voted for them, since NO ONE voted for them!

And in San Francisco, being on the School Board is often the first step in a political career. So this gives Breed a huge and unearned say in the future of San Francisco politics.

THIS RECALL ELECTION
IS AN ASSAULT ON OUR DEMOCRACY!
VOTE NO!



VOTE FOR DAVID CAMPOS FOR ASSEMBLY!

We are also voting tomorrow for a replacement for Assemblyman David Chiu, who left that position when he was appointed S.F. City Attorney. There are three main candidates:
  • Former supervisor David Campos
  • Current supervisor Matt Haney
  • Bilal Mahmood, businessman & neuroscientist
David Campos has been a dedicated progressive political activist. Matt Haney has been a decent supervisor. But his election will give Mayor Breed ANOTHER CHANCE TO APPOINT SOMEONE TO POLITICAL OFFICE. Mahmood has never held elected office.

Campos has raised far less money than the other two, because he's the only one who truly represents the progressive community of this city.

VOTE FOR DAVID CAMPOS FOR ASSEMBLY.
Click HERE for his website.


Bloggelinis: I know I should have written this a long time ago. Sending a blog with voter recommendations the day before the election? Ridiculous! But the truth is that I've been floundering. I am having trouble keeping going. Writing blogs is so satisfying! Readng your emails makes me so happy! Why can't I get myself to do it? Maybe this blog is a sign that I'm coming out of my flounder. I hope so! Terry