Monday, August 10, 2020


experiencing the Pandemic in a deep, blogmistressy way that might not be available to you. I want to share my wisdom with you. Therefore, I present...

'DEMIC DO's & Don't's
(can anyone assist me with the proper punctuation of "Don't's????!?)

ONE A: DO...
Do wash that dish drainer that you've had for a decade when you suddenly notice that it could use a scrub-a-dub-dub.

I have an unusual wire dish drainer from Israel that accommodates a shitload of dishes, since I don't have a dishwasher. I scorn dishwashers. I SCORN them. I love to get my hands all soapy and wet and play in the water. And please don't tell me that doing it by hand uses more water than the machine. Nonsense! I am very thrifty water-wise.

Do NOT under any circumstances ponder how your dish drainer could have gotten so disgustingly icky when you ONLY put perfectly clean dishes in it! There's no way to go with this thought except down down down....

Is it possible that the dishes were not pristine when you placed them in the rack? Is that because your eyesight has gotten so bad that you can't tell the difference between a clean and a dirty dish -- even AFTER your cataract surgery???

If the dishes WERE sparkly clean when they left your hands, is dirt just falling from the ceiling and
clinging to the dish drainer? Are mice running over it while you sleep? What about the ants?? You thought ants were clean, didn't you?

As you can see, it's best not to explore the "How and Why" of this situation. Just rejoice in your clean dish drainer.

TWO A: DO...
Do wear your favorite shirt even if it has stains on it --- IF the stains cannot be seen from six feet away. Wearing your beloved shirt perks you up AND has the added benefit of giving you an extra-strong incentive to socially distance yourself appropriately. I mean it is so UNNATURAL to stay six feet away from people --- but not when you're wearing a dirty shirt!

And, yes, a nice politically uplifting t-shirt is an excellent choice. It might inspire great dreams.
Do not under any circumstances go to bed with the clothes you wore during the day. It is absolutely required for good mental health that you change into night time attire.

Do cut off all the labels on your towels, sheets and pillow cases. They have suddenly become UNBEARABLE, haven't they? How have you survived all these years with these grubby, faded labels hanging everywhere?

Do not EVER post the cut-off labels up so that you can look at them and feel that you've accomplished something.

You've accomplished so much MORE than removing labels. And your life's not over yet! Who KNOWS what you'll do, what will happen to you when you can get closer than six feet to people? Do not set the bar so low!

Oh, you so must do this: Order 100 white washcloths for $19 from the fabulously named U.S. Wiping Company. Then you can put them EVERYWHERE you wash your hands and you have eliminated all those paper towels. When you're done with it, just throw it in a little whatever -- my Mickey Mouse bucket from Daiso (upper right) is devoutly to be desired --
-- and then you throw them all in the wash. Ecological! Cheap! So very sanitary! Spill a little coffee? Grab a washcloth. Pups track in some mud? Do the same. You will never run out because you have ONE HUNDRED of them! Once you've lived with 100 washcloths, you will not be able to understand how you survived before. There is no "DON'T" for this one. If you want 200 washcloths -- GO FOR IT!

Well, Bloggelinis, don't say I never did nothin' fer ya.


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