I LIED TO YOU!

 

Subscribe to My Blog! August 9, 2024 I LIED TO YOU! (Click Here 4 Tix 4 8/10 Lesbo Solo) I know, I know. I told you I would perform "Are You the One?", which involves me running through the audience falling in love and breaking up with one woman after another. I'm not going to do that because, with an absolute time limit of 60 minutes, there's not enough time. Actually, "Are You the One?" was always a dicey proposition because I was very worried that what was hilarious for a 40- or even 50-year-old actress to do would be pathetic when performed by a 77-year-old actress. Below is a poster from a run of ONE FOOL in Amsterdam, which begins with "Are You the One?" You can see that's from long ago, because, at the time, you could bring in an audience by using a review that compared you to Woody Allen. Actually, I always thought of Woody Allen as "The heterosexual male Terry Baum." But. as far as I know, he never used that in his publicity. And I certainly would never dignify him with that title now, after all I know about his personal life. My personal life is pristine by comparison -- in its own way. (The fantastic poster is by my friend Lucille Moquette.) But I digress. And I also told you I was going to do a scene where "Terry's mother (a hand puppet) comes back from the dead, to hound Terry to marry her gay male friend so that Mom will have something to brag about in heaven." I'm not going to do that either. I DID do some work on that scene. I came up with an idea of Mom singing a song about "naches," which is a Yiddish word that refers to what your children do that you would like to brag about to other parents. Children are supposed to give their parents naches -- that is, things to brag about. I gave my parents literally no naches when they were alive (until after I confronted my dad and demanded he be proud of me, but I digress.) And I thought it would be very funny to have Mom demand naches in a song. I asked David Hyman, my lyricist, to write the song, and he came up with some great lines: I want naches I deserve some naches. Like my friends should say “hmm That young lesbo’s done some- thing to shock us.” That's just a taste of the lyrics. So I did the work of coming up with an idea, and David did the real work of writing lyrics. And then I realized I did not have time for this scene either. I'm sure I will perform it eventually, but not as part of LESBO SOLO. Also, I'm a little concerned about the "Do not speak ill of the dead" issue. Am I speaking ill of my mom? Should I worry about some old saying that I don't necessarilly believe is true anyhow? Would Mom, who never said a Yiddish word, be insulted to sing about naches? Does she have the ability to curse me from Heaven, which I don't believe in anyhow? I don't have to think about these issues because truly there's no time for the song. Here's me and Mom from the workshop production of WAITING FOR THE PODIATRIST: This first Mom puppet was made from an oven mitt by my dear friend Mary Wings, who was the first person to create a gay comic. Sadly, she died on July 3. There is an obituary of Mer in the New York Times. But I digress. Anyhow, the other things I said were true. And LESBO SOLO opens tomorrow night. Info on all the performances below. Do come. Terry 2024 San Francisco Fringe Festival Presents LESBO SOLO One Dyke's Life in the Theater Saturday, August 10 @ 7:30pm Saturday, August 24 @ 12:00pm Sunday, August 25 @ 3:00pm   277 Taylor Street in San Francisco   Tix: $17.85 lesbo-solo.eventbrite.com

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